This is a subject that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about lately, I am a mum of 2, working full-time as a project manager, although I am lucky in the fact that my husband stays at home with the kids and they don’t have to go to nursery full-time. (This means I don’t get the ‘Dropping the kids at nursery tears’)
I was fairly late having children compared to a lot of my friends and peers, I was 36 when I had my first son and 39 for my second son. I suppose as I had waited until this time I had already managed to build up a career for myself that I could easily return to after maternity leave.
I suppose I am one of those women that thinks
‘why shouldn’t we have it all’
but am I stretching myself too thinly between all of needs in my life.
I love being a mum, I also love working and feeling of value in a professional sense. I also love my partner and feel that it’s important to work on a relationship to make it good.
We are constantly bombarded with media that raises the question of ‘Can we have it all’ I think I find it insulting to a certain extent that this question is raised specifically about working mothers!
I have never heard the expression ‘Working Father’!
Isn’t the fact that a lot of women return to their professional life after children just part of modern society? If so, why should I feel the need to justify my roles in these different areas to myself?
I think there is a lot to be said for mindfulness, although I’m not fully into the philosophy of this area. I think there is a lot to be said for immersing yourself into whatever activity you are taking part in at the time.
I am trying to make myself more aware of my thoughts while taking part in activities with my children.
For example, if I’m playing with them (usually trains!!) I try to focus only on the playtime. I don’t focus on what housework needs doing or things I need to achieve the following day at work. I’m also prone to a bit of a daydream about the future and where our family will be and what we’ll be doing in 5, 10, 15 years from now!
I still think about these things, but in a more organised manner and I write things down on my notepad in order to remove them from my brain. I use the quiet moments specifically to think about our future and plan. (I like to plan! Well, I am a project manager)
I find this way I can certainly have it all!!!
I can focus time to play and work and grow as a person and keep up with all other aspects of life.
This way it isn’t a struggle, it’s all achievable…….
And ironically there is no pressure to achieve anything, apart from the focus on the task in hand.